Category: Action, Drama, Revenge, Exploitation
Written by Keith Kaczorek (TV's "Hey, Arnold" and "Angry Beavers") and Will Schmitz (his sole feature credit). Directed by David DeCoteau (Dr. Alien, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama). USA. 82mins
The new year is fresh and docile as wait for something big to happen. In the interem, however, Jive Turkey Video keeps it comin' with the awesomely titled David Decoteau (director of Creepozoids and Dreamaniac (read the review)) gem, Lady Avenger.
Let's get into it, shall we:
After the radical neon pink credits clear out we're introduced to Maggie, played by Peggy McIntaggart (Beverly Hill Cop II, She-Wolves of the Wasteland, Playboy Playmate of the Month: January 1990), under the pseudonym Peggy Sanders, who is allowed out of reform school, or woman's prison (it's unclear) to attend her brother's funeral. After finding out that her brother was murdered by gangland thugs, a revelation that takes more than enough running time to get to, Maggie evades her jail-appointed matron (who's character is dropped from the plot a quarter of the way in) to get revenge. Coincidentally, when she's off cruising around with her boyfriend, the duo are attacked by a trio of 80s bad boy cliches, who also happen to be involved with Maggie's brother's murder. Each thug is wearing a different rag typical to their archetype: leather, a belly shirt and a sleeveless jacket with no undershirt. Unfortunately for Maggie and her beau, they failed to park in the NO-RAPE zone and as a result end up in a tussle with the 3 scoundrels. The altercation leads to a car chase that, as boring as it is, only comes in second place for the dullest chase of the film. Both cars seen to be going to speed limit, and one of the goons even demands his driver to “be careful!” The scene ends with a surprising and explosive fatal collision that the ternary group somehow escape from, relatively unscathed.
 |
| Back cover images leave a little too much to the imagination |
The film is really not afraid to take it's time unfolding the plot, and really should be. Scenes are drawn out, shots linger, and the second car chase is incredibly more slow and steady than the first. There are also scenes that make no sense which help to pad out the plot making the film ever more lumbering. For example there's an impromptu strip scene that shows Maggie's friend performing the deed while confessing to have purchased a car. The scene is smash cut in and out with no explanation or follow up.
 |
| Why is this scene even in the movie?! |
 |
| A little less Gun for Hire, a little more dancer in the dark |
The daring dame of the flick, Maggie, is also not what I would choose for a killer heroine. She has the demeanor of a drown rat and when she's decked out in her kickin'-ass threads, seems less like Lady Rambo (as the cover would have you believe) and more like a Bruce Springsteen fan. This film should be a simple, straight-forward action film, but instead conducts a grand conspiracy surrounding Maggie's brother's death, involving the thugs mentioned before, the town yuppies, some harbor hippie, and a party supply store which all leads back to her Stepfather. Don't worry, I did not give away the end of the film as the Stepfather's first scene he's shown sipping a low ball glass of straight water as danger music plays over top. No reason is given to this presentation, but leaves you assuming he's up to no good. Subtlety is not this movies strong point.
If I had to pick out some redeeming qualities it would have to be the bright pink credits, the hilariously forced nudity, and the use of the word “assholism”, heard only once before (at least to my knowledge) in John Waters' Pink Flamingos.
This movie should be undertaken as a group project, with equal parts alcohol ingestion and heckling. For what it is I give it 2.5 out of 5 peach-coloured chinos.
0 comments:
Post a Comment